I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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