Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
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My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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