who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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