we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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