i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
