I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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