dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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