I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
