had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
