what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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