I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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