would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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