in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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