we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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