Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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