whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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