if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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