Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i will never coherently bang her
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
