i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
