My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
