I wanna bring you to show and tell
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
