i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
