she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
