Slut skills are useful in every country.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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