Tell her she can't have a vagina
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
