you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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