Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
