I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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