Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
