all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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