You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
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He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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