so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Even my vagina gasped.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
