Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
