carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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