I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
