the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
