Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
