Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Blood and glitter go together right?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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