I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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