my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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