I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
