I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
