I think I died a long time ago.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
