Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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