I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
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you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
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guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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