I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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