I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
sex in a hospital.. check
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
