oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
