I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i now understand why vodka
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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