Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
