When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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