and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
