there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
