I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We left the knife in your bed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
