It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
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