just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
