i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
