Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
