My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
