I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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