Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
