never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
