One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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