You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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