i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
