I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
