I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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