My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize